Another election, another Labour government. Still, ole’ Tone has a greatly reduced majority this time, so at least that means that there might be something that can be regarded as opposition to slow his desired transformation of the British Isles into the shape of George W. Bush’s face. I kid you not, that was going to be the next bill that he was going to easily pass through government before the election got in the way.

Tony Blair planned on dredging the English Channel and using the material from the bottom to reshape Britain into the shape of Bush’s profile. In a leaked memo he said ‘We might as well get rid of Cornwall altogether, they’re all hippies down there anyway. And I never liked the Welsh, I can’t understand a word they’re saying. Is there anything we can do about them?’ Cornwall and Wales voted mainly for the Liberal Democrats, so maybe he’ll go ahead with his plan after all.

You heard it here first!