In the UK, we’ve had an advert for ‘New York Deli-style’ mayonnaise. The idea of the advert is that the mother, who is making sandwiches, has been transformed into a male New York deli owner by using the product. Get ready for the shock – s/he kisses goodbye to her/his husband! On TV!

Beware. This advert may signal the beginning of the apocalypse.

I’ve got no problem with this whatsoever, but it’s rather funny reading the comments of people who do… Or perhaps it’s a bit tragic? Or maybe people on the internet all have their react-o-meters instantly set to eleven. My favourite response? It’s tricky, I’m torn between two:

The first time I witness this advert I shall be complaining loudly to the appropriate authorities, and will certainly not be buying the product.

That wins points for deciding in advance of seeing the advert to ‘complain loudly’ afterwards. It’s good that they’re keeping an open mind until they’ve seen it.

Second up we have a wonderful bit of hyperbole:

This is what the word boycott was invented for!

Err… No, I don’t think getting in a flap about a mayonnaise advert was what the word was intended for. I also like another comment that describes the leader of the Christian Anglican Church, Rowan Williams as a “liberal druid”. Priceless.

For UK readers, you’ve probably already guessed that these delights come to us courtesy of the Daily Mail. (In fairness, there are a fair number of sensible people on there too, who can’t see what the fuss is about.)

What a fantastic set of creations he’s left us, and what an inspiration to future effects artists.

Here’s the tribute from Ain’t It Cool, and in case you need reminding of all the things he’s done, here’s his IMDB page. He made The Terminator, the Predator, and was instrumental in making H. R. Giger’s designs for the Alien come to life. He’s a great loss to special effects.

A friend has baked some rather funky Space Invader cookies. They were created by building up strips of cookie dough to make each pixel, ending up with a huge log of destructive alien menace (and there are photos to prove it). Hurrah!

Today Is The Day is a very odd story of a man made of sponge. I can’t really say what it’s about, but it’s quite enjoyable if you’ve got a minute and the desire to scroll.

It’s as simple as that: watch the video here.

The funniest thing for me is that people are taking photos, still images, of complete strangers who are standing still. Now that’s the digital present for you.

It’s the latest stunt by the superb performance/art group Improv Everywhere. Click here for more about them.

In Neuromancer, the main character Case has killed people in dirty meaningless fights, he’s a self-destructive drug addict, running himself into the ground, barely eating, and trying to convince the city streets to open up and swallow him in a dark alley one night. This character is a vortex of self-loathing, and I just don’t see many actors who would want to try and do that in a science-fiction film. I’ve spent fifteen years getting to know the character and seven years writing about it, so in this regard I feel that I know Case pretty well.

Does that character description fit with Hayden Christensen in your head? He’s most famous for playing Anakin Skywalker (who became Darth Vader) in the second and third of the Star Wars series. In fairness to Christensen, in the Star Wars films he (allegedly) went to Lucas and said ‘Are you sure you want Anakin to be this whiny?’ and Lucas said ‘No, make him more whiny!’. With direction like that the it’s hard to do much. While Christensen may yet display previously unseen depths of acting and character in his performance as Case, he’s not yet shown that he is capable of portraying the complexity of the part. I really hope he surprises us, and I’ll be the first to stand applauding if he does.

Christensen might be able to pull it off with good direction, but the director attached to the project, Joseph Kahn, doesn’t give me a lot of hope on that one. He’s best known for the very dumb action film Torque (scoring a rating of 3.4 out of 10, barely skimming out of the worst rated 100 films on IMDB) and the Britney Spears video for the song ‘Toxic’. The story of Neuromancer is fairly complex, with multiple antagonists with differing agendas, which is partly why this film hasn’t ever happened yet despite 20 years of people trying to make it. I’m very concerned that they are going to strip it back to a pile of meaningless action sequences.

If they made this film feel like a drunk hurriedly stumbling home through the bad area of town, people hurrying past and predatory eyes watching the progress from shadows, then it would feel right. It’s more likely to feel like a glossy jet-bike ride, and that’s going to be a huge betrayal of the book. Christensen’s casting feels like the jet-bike version of the story, and that’s why the people who want this film to be good are so worried about him.

Tonight I finished playing the rather jolly game Assassin’s creed. I liked it lots, some people don’t, but there you go; however, the ending is left open so you can go and find all the collectables in the game (although quite why you would bother is beyond me). The openness of the ending leads players to think that there might be something more to do (there isn’t really), but I thought I’d check reliable GameFAQs to see if they had anything for me, when I stumbled on the increasingly desperate guide by a chap called Brad Russell.

Skip down to the FAQ’s bit at the bottom of the page (press ‘Crtl’ and the ‘F’ key on your keyboard at the same time and type ‘FAQ’ then skip through until you get to the start of them). It gets quite funny as they go on, while the poor guy’s will to live is sapped by a constant barrage of questions all on the same lines.

You can read one man’s despair here.